Launching The Adoption Life
The road to The Adoption Life started when we chose private adoption to grow our family. We knew that we needed to wait for a birth mother to choose us. We knew that took time and we prepared to wait. Throughout our journeys, we had an agency, two attorneys, and a facilitator but maintaining our resolve and preserving what was best for us in the fulfillment of our dreams became… a challenge.
Adoption is an extremely personal endeavor. At the very root lies ethical decisions that must be made to grow your family and I understand the gravity of those choices. You can also begin to feel isolated because everyone around you wants to offer their opinion yet nearly no one can truly relate. For us, even our family and closest friends simply did not "get it" despite the best of intentions.
Now, six years after embarking on our adoption journey, and two successful open adoptions later, I advocate for the following:
You need someone to hold you accountable for your choices and especially your truths.
Are you consistently checking in with yourself and your partner? Have your thoughts or feelings about certain aspects of adoption shifted since you started the journey? Are you being 100% authentic to the agency? to the attorney? to the birthmother?
It can be tempting to say “yes” to a situation, even when your gut senses otherwise. After waiting and waiting, any opportunity seems like a silver lining but what if saying yes actually results in a longer wait to your forever child?
You need someone to consistently challenge you to reclaim your life while you wait.
The wait is brutal - no doubt about it. And it doesn’t matter if it’s 1 month or 2 years. Why? Because waiting is hard - especially when you’re waiting to be chosen. Especially when you’re waiting to start your family. Too often everything begins to revolve around adoption.
You must live and laugh. You must engage with others and ensure you’re giving yourself adequate self care. You must travel. Because, when your child finally arrives, everything else will have to wait. And you definitely want to be the best possible version of yourself when he or she makes their debut.
Lastly, the adoption journey is not over once your adoption is final. The journey is for life.
What are your plans to continue the adoption conversation once your child is in your home? How will you continue to educate those you encounter? How will you instill a healthy understanding of adoption without making it the centerpiece of your child’s life?
Reading, researching and talking to anyone you can who has been touched by adoption is imperative, however, what works for one family may not work for yours. It’s up to YOU to discover the best path for your family.
I chose to launch The Adoption Life because in hindsight I wish I would have had an empowerment coach during our journeys. And maybe you do too.
By connecting here you may:
feel empowered to take the reins of your own adoption journey.
relate to unique situations relevant to adoption.
educate yourself or learn something you didn't know about adoption.
engage and share with other prospective and current parents alike via the blog.
discover a resource that helps you navigate various challenges that arise throughout the process.
Thank you for joining me here. I hope you find something to make your visit worthwhile.